I will admit that I am out of practice.
The last time I interviewed for a job was certainly when America was still sane.
However, I wasn’t really prepared to ask certain questions. I was only afraid that the first question would be: “Tell me a little about yourself.”
Because that told me that the interviewer probably did not read my autobiography, or did not remember anything about it, if he had read it. And I didn’t care.
So when I saw that Google had released a new online tool to help you practice for job interviews, my mind was fascinated, and my soul prepared to grieve.
The Google Interview Warm-up promises that it will help you practice the key questions, gain insights into your answers, and have a more comfortable interview.
And, of course, all this is achieved by the wonderful artificial intelligence, which only wishes to be able to stare intently into your eyes. That’s because this tool does not turn on the camera but only activates your microphone.
At least, that’s what I thought.
What I later found out is that you can actually write your answers instead of having Google listen and write them for you.
What I also discovered is that interview warm-up allows you to practice for interviews in all kinds of fields – everything from data analytics to e-commerce.
why is that? Please why is this?
For each job type, there are five questions.
For data analytics, the first question was: “Can you tell me a little bit about yourself?”
Nothing really changed? The interlocutors are still lazy as they always have been? Is there a good way to answer this?
“Hello. I was recently released from prison, where I served five years for insisting on defaming tech leaders.”
“Just see if you’re paying attention.”
No, I wouldn’t be a great interviewer. However, this tool – because every technology has to rank it – offers insights into three different areas: job-related terms, most frequently used words and talking points.
Oddly enough, my answer above didn’t give Google’s AI any chills. In fact, the tool told me that it did not detect any talking points in it.
He also told me that I didn’t use job related terms. It seems that neither “technology” nor “leaders” is in any way related to a job in data analysis.
I’ll leave you to analyze that while I tell you that I also trained for an interview in e-commerce.
Question: What do you do when you need to learn something new?
I knew “I’m crying” wouldn’t be a good answer, so I tried to echo Google’s AI.
I answered, “It depends on what it is. If I need to learn a new dish, I use a recipe in Google. If I need to learn to swim, I Google ‘Swimming Instructor’.” And if I need to learn Serbo-Croatian, I get goggles The great new Google Translate.”
This answer is sure to inspire more conversation. Amnesty International said it would not.
The more I try, the more I fail to be fun at a distance. For a robot, that is.
Creativity is not welcome here. or is he?
I couldn’t believe it when I got this question while preparing for an e-commerce interview: “Explain the benefits of e-commerce platforms to someone completely unfamiliar with e-commerce.”
This should be a question looking for a creative answer.
So I tried this: “Hello. How are things in outer space? At the bottom, we have this thing called e-commerce. It’s working on something called the Internet. Why am I telling you this? You’re from outer space. You already know this. Anyway, We hope to send you the best e-commerce expert, Jeff Bezos, so he can brag about the finer points and we can break free from him here.”
This clearly did not provide any discernible talking points. I was ready to collapse.
Until I finally made a breakthrough. One of the questions in my data analysis interview was, “Tell me about the time you had to present to multiple competing priorities. What did you do, and what were the results?”
I replied, “There is no such thing as many competing priorities. So I chose the ones that would benefit me most personally first.”
I was hoping this wording would confuse the AI. Instead, he complimented me, oh, for giving an example.
AI tries to be useful. It gives you a list of keywords you might choose to drop in an interview. There are a lot of them.
Then again, it highlights the words you use more than three times and tells you that this is “not necessarily a bad thing”.
It might not necessarily be a good thing either, so please, bot, could you be a touch more helpful?
After delving into quite a few questions in different career fields, I’ve only wondered one thing: “Is this what it’s like to be interviewed at Google?”
In fact, this tool was created specifically to help people obtain job Google certifications, through which UK citizens can enhance their digital capabilities.
Those who get especially nervous in interviews may enjoy being able to coach by talking to the bot. It can be more consistent than practicing in the mirror or with a friend holding a glass of wine.
But this all sounds like a job interview as a test. Google has certainly reinforced this impression in the past. We are very smart, so we will test how smart you are.
I still can’t help wondering if the best job interviews are those unstructured ones when two people start talking, find each other interesting and discover the very interesting experience.
I’m a perfect person, I know.