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Ask Amy: Young Military Marriage Leads to Quick Divorce

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Dear Amy: My daughter has been married for about a year.

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Her husband is in the military, and they had to get involved so she could live with him during the COVID-19 lockdowns.

They live in a secluded military base. She takes care of the house, starts a business, volunteers for the Red Cross, and has a dog that keeps her occupied.

She just graduated from college, but there is no work for her at the base.

He came home from work last night and told her he had been unhappy for a while and that he wanted a divorce.

He said counseling wouldn’t help; His mind is made. Then he left and stayed at a friend’s house. He won’t answer her calls.

The two did some premarital counseling and have some relationship books, so they have tools.

I told her to email him how she feels, because it’s not right for him to treat her that way. She is devastated and doesn’t even know what she did wrong.

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Last month they were talking about starting a family. How are they on the threshold of divorce?

He’s been out drinking with his buddies for the past month.

He just decided it’s over and she has to pack up and leave?

What should be her first steps? She lives in several states, so it’s not possible to hug her, but I need her help.

She is alone and doomed and doesn’t know where to turn.

I encourage her to see the pastor at the base (he is the only counsellor), but she is reluctant.

your advice?

– c

Dear J: Stay in close contact with your daughter. I agree she should see the base chaplain. A pastor can’t save her marriage, but that person will know the next steps a couple will need to take if they decide to separate — or if her husband alone decides to make that break permanent.

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Military OneSource is a very useful online portal provided by the US Department of Defense. The site covers most conceivable topics of interest to military families, and offers a “live chat” function, as well as telephone advisory support.

Your daughter’s first step should be to research her own legal options and responsibilities. Married quickly – it may be best to dissolve this short marriage quickly.

My understanding is that if this divorce becomes a legal fact, your daughter will lose access to military housing.

As a supportive parent for her, you should encourage her to breathe, take things step by step, and—yes, (if possible) offer to help her pack a U-Haul.

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Dear Amy: I need some advice!

I am a young adult hoping to break into the music industry.

I use social media to connect and connect with other artists – posting events, photos, etc.

Well-meaning Nana leaves comments and shares all my posts on her “Page”.

It’s totally embarrassing and seems unprofessional. How do I get her to stop without hurting her feelings or withholding her?

help!

– off key

Dear off key: First of all…how sweet. I’m at an age and stage in life where I think Proud Nanas is pretty cool.

Once you make it big (ger), you’ll be able to “own” this with pride. In fact, your fan base for Nana might be your secret superpower. There may be clever ways you can use her pride and sharing to promote your business. (Authentication form: “Goth’s Ear Worm: As Easy As REO Speedwagon! (My Nana)”)

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In the meantime, find ways to “ignore” her comments. You should be able to do this without even realizing it.

Also, be sure to share through the best social channels for your career. Your Nana probably isn’t on TikTok (but if she is, you should probably follow her lead).

Dear Amy: I appreciate your sympathy for the loss of a pet.

My dear Labrador Retriever passed away recently.

I was agonizing about what to do when she was really struggling near the end of her life, so I reached out to a national organization called Lap of Love (lapoflove.com), it was incredible.

They provide home visits, hospice care, medical (telehealth care) advice, euthanasia, and pet loss support.

I am so grateful to the very kind vet who helped us through a very difficult time.

– I miss my dog ​​on a CT scan

Dear Lost My Dog: Caring for the elderly at home for a dying animal is a real gift.

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2022-05-19 10:08:41

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